I’m falling. I’m falling into a deep dark pit. When I reach the bottom, I don’t feel any impact, it was like I was already there at the bottom. It’s like I’m teleported somehow from a state of falling down to already being on the base crouched into a foetal position. A solitary albeit wide ray of light illuminates my naked, shivering body.
The ground under me is cold stone that seems angry because of my presence and grows colder by the hour. It saps my body heat and my strength slowly.
At first, my eyes, though shaking and shivering along with the rest of my body, remain transfixed on the featureless stone floor. Then I hear the sounds breaking the eerie silence. The strange sounds that I don’t understand but they sound like taunts in another language directed at me. It doesn’t sound human, it doesn’t sound animal but it does sound bird-like or similar to that of a hyena laughing in a birds voice. It sounds like whatever is making the sounds is challenging me and daring me to come out of the light, into the darkness. Testing the presence of my testicles (or colloquially “if I have the balls”) to explore what lies in the lack of light.
These faceless sounds come from all around me. I cannot tell if it is one thing making a sound then changing it’s location before making another or simply many things waiting their turn to taunt me from every angle. I grow bold as time passes by. I make a resolve, I look up and see darkness all around me. I know that there is something on the edge of the darkness and it conceals itself just beyond my ability to see. I try to peer into the darkness. I sit up and even crane my neck forward to try and get a better look, this is when I realize that I haven’t seen what is behind me.
Suddenly he is standing next to me (or at least it feels as if suddenly something was next to me), a statue of a man on a pedestal (or is it a woman) is right behind me. The face is clean and expressionless; there are no irises or pupils in the eyes. As I look at the clothing of the one standing on the pedestal, I notice that it is wearing a large cloak with wings protruding from the back of the cloak. The statue just stands there and looks into the distance. I wonder if it was always right next to me. My eyes are on it and I do not move as I am frozen with fear.
Then it moves. It bends down towards me as if it is trying to get a better look. It moves quickly enough to startle me. I shout in fear and hold my arms up to my face to protect myself. My body is shaking from the adrenaline infused fear. I plead for it not to hurt me. It speaks in a man’s voice
“Stop your sniveling, I am not here to harm you. I am not the bringer of pain or damage, you need not fear me. I am here to tell you things as they are. I am here to bring you the truth. The truth is that you are the one in darkness. Everything else is in light. Your whole life has been this way.”
I try to imagine this. I see a naked silhouette of a man. The silhouette is bald, tall and muscular but not overly muscular to seem like one who attempts body building competitions or trains to do so. He goes through his life like a normal person even though a silhouette. He watches TV in his home, he’s dancing in a club where green lasers are being shot outward and electronic music fills the air. He’s at a dinner party and socializing in some grand hall but though people see him there, he is still a black silhouette no matter how much light there is.
I come back to the nakedness of myself. The hard stone floor and the cold that I feel all over becomes more pronounced and apparent to me now. The statue is gone and I am aware of how alone I am again as I look around to confirm this fact. Nobody is there, nobody that I can see anyway.
A thought occurs to me, maybe this is not real. Maybe none of this is real. I’m fairly certain that I’m awake but maybe there is some odourless gas seeping into the room causing these hallucinations. Then another thought enters my head, I wonder if I really am in a room because it feels like a cave but not like a cave in the wilderness; something like the Bat-cave: a secret controlled cave built underneath a house owned by somebody rich. I could also be on a movie set either built or on location and there are people watching my every move. Movie makers do use elaborate set-ups, locations and even unsuspecting people to help them sell their ideas of entertainment. Likewise, I could be in a single blind experiment happening in a controlled environment.
That must be it, I console myself and put my mind at ease with these thoughts. That is, until I hear the sounds again. They seem louder than before. They are no longer with pauses between them. One after another, the strange sounds come at me. My ears start to hurt. The sounds get louder and consequently more painful. The pain doesn’t stop but I shout “Stop” nonetheless
They say, ask and you shall receive. It held true now because the sounds do stop. One second passes in silence. Another second goes by. Cold enveloping silence occurs again for one last second until it erupts in painful taunting noise. My ears are burning. They’re warm. Now hot. Now like somebody dunked my ears in boiling water. Now unbearable…Now Nothing. Now I feel oddly warm liquid flowing out of my ears like a guest casually leaving ones home. I know what this liquid is. It can only be one thing. I put my hand to the side of my neck, it is where the liquid has now flowed till. I realize, as my fingers reach and make contact with the wet material, that the sounds have stopped coming. I smile and say out loud, “That’s a relief.”
I know that I have consciously used my vocal chords. I know that I have spoken but yet I hear nothing. I scream to check again. Nothing. I’ve felt my vocal chords strain but I’ve heard nothing.
I remove my hand from my neck and look at the blood that hasn’t stopped flowing. My blood. I see it now on my fingers. My face had turned completely ashen since I realized I had gone deaf but all this time, I was clinging to the hope that this was a controlled environment where at least I was a normal human being. What I saw before my eyes caused utter despair to set in. My blood was not red, it was green. I do not have deuteranopia and this cannot be an experiment. Or maybe it is but I still cannot explain why my blood is green.
I was standing up before and staring at the oddly coloured blood but now I drop to my knees. My hand has not moved from its position and neither has my torso. I had just dropped to my knees in utter dismay. I fear that this is unreality at it’s finest but I know that I am not dreaming. I have always been able to discern between the dream world and my own. The refinement of this “made-up” reality is that there is enough unreality to make me tilt in the direction of belief that all of this is fake until the great hammer drops. And then you know, then you know that you’re not in Kansas anymore and you’re still wondering why you chased that white rabbit in the first place. Then you realize that everything else was the dream and this is the reality. The angel said that as well. I am in darkness even though I perceive myself in light. I know nothing anymore. Ignorance doesn’t feel like bliss anymore. I realize this now.
My face slowly starts to change as these thoughts climax in my head. The edges of my lips droop downwards. My nostrils flare. My eyes close in on themselves as tears begin to form within them. I’m weeping now. Crying completely bitterly and desperately. I want to hear my own sobs but I hear nothing. The absence of my own voice makes me sadder and I cry more fiercely, more desperately. I look into the darkness and then I scream out, “Nothing makes any sense. Why am I here? Why is this happening? Why me? Why? Why? Why?” I pause and my quivering lips gently form the words, “I want to die.”
Still looking out into the darkness between sobs and because of a complete loss of hearing, I don’t hear someone come behind me or in this case, a robed something. He stands at 8 feet tall and walks like a man. As his shadow falls over me, I turn around to see a hooded head (but no face) blocking the light from above. My sobbing has stopped and my jaw drops in a binding fear of this towering, robed fiend that sneakily approached me.
Due to the light being behind him, I only manage to notice that he is wearing a robe made from some coarse fabric like jute. He stands above me as I half-sit, half-splay on the floor, one hand propping my body up. I hear, what can only be, his voice but his voice is not heard in my ears and decoded then comprehended by me as a normal person would hear something. No, he is speaking into my head.
“If you wish for death then…” I notice him raising his hands, he wields an enormous scythe and raises the same above his head.
“…you must seek it on our own.” He brings the scythe down on me, he lands the reverse end of the blade on my lower back akin to a golfers swing. The force and impact is strong enough to send me out of my little circle of light and flying through the air into the seeming void.
When I come to a halt in a heap on the floor, I’m gripped by the adrenaline and the fear and the shock of what just happened. Curiously enough, I feel no pain where the scythed being had struck nor do I feel any hurt from my landing either. This does not occur to me immediately and then I am suddenly aware that I am in the darkness with whatever was lurking nearby before and making those sounds.
Breath! I feel a breath coming from my right. Something standing or crouching over me just breathed on me. I instinctively roll to my left and get up to see what is this thing. Maybe my eyes have not adjusted or maybe it is just too dark but I cannot see anything in front of me.
There isn’t a sound, no voice speaking into my head. I am all the more aware of how useful my hearing would have been in a situation like this. Without warning (not that I could hear one anyway), I feel a pain sweep across from the back of my right shoulder that extends to the base of my ribs.
It was a cut. A cut made by a blade or a similarly shaped object. I turn around after I scream out in anguish. I try to look for my attacker but he is nowhere to be seen. I scan the area a little more to the best of my ability. My little ray of light is visible to me now and it is not too far away. The robed giant had knocked me about 50 steps away from what I considered safety. I may have gone deaf in that little circle of light but at least I was experiencing an absence of the intense pain I felt now.
I keep my eyes on the light then dive forward into a full body roll hoping that this will confuse my attacker. I get up from the roll in one fluid motion and as my feet touch the ground, I begin running.
I must have got at least 10 good steps in and had reached full momentum when I feel the blade pierce my side right under the rib cage upto my navel. It feels like a rapier, double edged, slender meant for piercing and its blade wasn’t too wide. It goes in and comes out quickly, even though I reached full momentum, it was like I was standing still as I got stabbed.
I stumble; I almost fall from the swiftness of the manoeuvre. I grip my side and try to put pressure on it but the pain is too intense. Nevertheless, I start limping my way to the light, I’m still confident that I’m going to make it. Then another cut is made on me. Off the shoulder, on the side of the bicep, my left bicep, which is connected to my left elbow which is connected to my left palm which is putting pressure on the stab wound I have on my right side.
I use my right hand to grip this new wound but I try to not drop my already significantly dropped pace even as I do this. All thoughts remain on reaching the light, it is all I can think about and I focus on it to avoid thinking about the pain. Subconsciously, I know that if I do think about the pain, I won’t stop and then I’ll really feel it.
During my limp, I feel the blade like object rest for a second on my clavicle. It holds itself there like an insect would cling to your skin. It rests there for only that singular second and even as I think about stopping my movement suddenly in the hope that the shift in speed will cause it leave in a way that a car driver slams the brakes sending the other passengers forward with inertia but before my thought can turn to action it then angles itself into my skin (while I move) and pulls itself upwards while maintaining the new angle. The result is a bloody gash near my neck. I scream out in pain, I hear nothing. I take solace in the fact that the light is coming closer to me with each hobbled step.
Two slashes, these are extremely deep, are felt in my calves. My legs give way before my mind even registers the pain. They say pain travels at a speed of two feet per second but even if I was a 2 million feet tall giant, I would still be in excruciating agony eventually as I did now. The cut was straight to the bone. Tendons and muscles were severed through like a chainsaw through wet paper. My legs have turned useless. The light is only ten feet away. I release my hands from gripping my wounds and reach for the ground in front of me.
It is all smooth rock that my hands touch. There are no ridges or cracks to grip into. I flatten my palms on the ground and use the pressure to pull myself forwards. There isn’t much friction and I manage to get two lengths in front. On the third length, I place both my hands forward as I did before but then I feel the blade lands heavily on my fingers. Not the edge of the blade though, its side slammed down on my fingers like a club or a hammer. It breaks every bone there is to be broken in my fingers.
The pain is maddening. My hands cringe backwards. I’m crying profusely as I hold my broken fingers close to me. I am now completely aware of the pain all over me. I cannot adequately express my suffering but it was unlike anything I had ever felt before. I lie over there, foetal positioned, crying, scared, confused and completely certain that this whole ordeal is completely unfair. My tormentor could have easily killed me but it wants to make me suffer. It wants to give me hope and then take it away, perhaps to test my resilience or just for sick sadistic pleasure of having someone else at your absolute mercy.
I’m not sure how long I was crying inaudibly to myself but my attacker did not attack me. I am so close to making it. It is only six feet away. Just six damned feet and then it hit me. Whatever or whoever was hurting me like this was not going to let me reach my destination. No, my destiny is not to be at my destination.
I’m reminded of something I saw once when I went shopping with one of my parents. We were to have chicken and I had gone with the aforementioned parent to buy it fresh. After the price was settled, one of the men took one of the live chickens out of the cage. The chicken put up a struggle that was evident by its flapping wings. However it was subdued and had its throat cut. Consequently, it was turned upside down so that the blood drained into a drum filled with some water (to dilute the blood). It’s head was lopped off, its body was de-feathered, skinned and cut into tidy portions. Then a long deep gash was made down the center of the breast that allowed the rib cage to be torn open and all the organs to be taken out. Liver, intestine, gizzard, heart and whatever else was inside. The most intriguing thing was the heart. Here was the chicken, cut, skinned, headless and basically all over the place and yet I observed that the heart (though not connected to anything now and drained of blood) was still beating. I then realized how immense the struggle for survival was. I realized that the heart is a symbol of our passion, our will to never give in. I knew then that it is only when your passion dies that you die. A mind can accept lies and change as you do but without the passion beating in our heart, you are nothing.
Now I stared into the darkness, I paused my persistent sobbing to reflect on how fleeting life was anyway. I turned on my back and I knew what was coming. I do not know how I knew but I knew. I made peace and closed my eyes and just winced a bit as I felt the sharp, double-edged sword-like instrument drive itself into my heart and remain there. One last gasp escaped my lips and then I was gone.
I left this world as I came in. Naked, scared and confused.
The ground under me is cold stone that seems angry because of my presence and grows colder by the hour. It saps my body heat and my strength slowly.
At first, my eyes, though shaking and shivering along with the rest of my body, remain transfixed on the featureless stone floor. Then I hear the sounds breaking the eerie silence. The strange sounds that I don’t understand but they sound like taunts in another language directed at me. It doesn’t sound human, it doesn’t sound animal but it does sound bird-like or similar to that of a hyena laughing in a birds voice. It sounds like whatever is making the sounds is challenging me and daring me to come out of the light, into the darkness. Testing the presence of my testicles (or colloquially “if I have the balls”) to explore what lies in the lack of light.
These faceless sounds come from all around me. I cannot tell if it is one thing making a sound then changing it’s location before making another or simply many things waiting their turn to taunt me from every angle. I grow bold as time passes by. I make a resolve, I look up and see darkness all around me. I know that there is something on the edge of the darkness and it conceals itself just beyond my ability to see. I try to peer into the darkness. I sit up and even crane my neck forward to try and get a better look, this is when I realize that I haven’t seen what is behind me.
Suddenly he is standing next to me (or at least it feels as if suddenly something was next to me), a statue of a man on a pedestal (or is it a woman) is right behind me. The face is clean and expressionless; there are no irises or pupils in the eyes. As I look at the clothing of the one standing on the pedestal, I notice that it is wearing a large cloak with wings protruding from the back of the cloak. The statue just stands there and looks into the distance. I wonder if it was always right next to me. My eyes are on it and I do not move as I am frozen with fear.
Then it moves. It bends down towards me as if it is trying to get a better look. It moves quickly enough to startle me. I shout in fear and hold my arms up to my face to protect myself. My body is shaking from the adrenaline infused fear. I plead for it not to hurt me. It speaks in a man’s voice
“Stop your sniveling, I am not here to harm you. I am not the bringer of pain or damage, you need not fear me. I am here to tell you things as they are. I am here to bring you the truth. The truth is that you are the one in darkness. Everything else is in light. Your whole life has been this way.”
I try to imagine this. I see a naked silhouette of a man. The silhouette is bald, tall and muscular but not overly muscular to seem like one who attempts body building competitions or trains to do so. He goes through his life like a normal person even though a silhouette. He watches TV in his home, he’s dancing in a club where green lasers are being shot outward and electronic music fills the air. He’s at a dinner party and socializing in some grand hall but though people see him there, he is still a black silhouette no matter how much light there is.
I come back to the nakedness of myself. The hard stone floor and the cold that I feel all over becomes more pronounced and apparent to me now. The statue is gone and I am aware of how alone I am again as I look around to confirm this fact. Nobody is there, nobody that I can see anyway.
A thought occurs to me, maybe this is not real. Maybe none of this is real. I’m fairly certain that I’m awake but maybe there is some odourless gas seeping into the room causing these hallucinations. Then another thought enters my head, I wonder if I really am in a room because it feels like a cave but not like a cave in the wilderness; something like the Bat-cave: a secret controlled cave built underneath a house owned by somebody rich. I could also be on a movie set either built or on location and there are people watching my every move. Movie makers do use elaborate set-ups, locations and even unsuspecting people to help them sell their ideas of entertainment. Likewise, I could be in a single blind experiment happening in a controlled environment.
That must be it, I console myself and put my mind at ease with these thoughts. That is, until I hear the sounds again. They seem louder than before. They are no longer with pauses between them. One after another, the strange sounds come at me. My ears start to hurt. The sounds get louder and consequently more painful. The pain doesn’t stop but I shout “Stop” nonetheless
They say, ask and you shall receive. It held true now because the sounds do stop. One second passes in silence. Another second goes by. Cold enveloping silence occurs again for one last second until it erupts in painful taunting noise. My ears are burning. They’re warm. Now hot. Now like somebody dunked my ears in boiling water. Now unbearable…Now Nothing. Now I feel oddly warm liquid flowing out of my ears like a guest casually leaving ones home. I know what this liquid is. It can only be one thing. I put my hand to the side of my neck, it is where the liquid has now flowed till. I realize, as my fingers reach and make contact with the wet material, that the sounds have stopped coming. I smile and say out loud, “That’s a relief.”
I know that I have consciously used my vocal chords. I know that I have spoken but yet I hear nothing. I scream to check again. Nothing. I’ve felt my vocal chords strain but I’ve heard nothing.
I remove my hand from my neck and look at the blood that hasn’t stopped flowing. My blood. I see it now on my fingers. My face had turned completely ashen since I realized I had gone deaf but all this time, I was clinging to the hope that this was a controlled environment where at least I was a normal human being. What I saw before my eyes caused utter despair to set in. My blood was not red, it was green. I do not have deuteranopia and this cannot be an experiment. Or maybe it is but I still cannot explain why my blood is green.
I was standing up before and staring at the oddly coloured blood but now I drop to my knees. My hand has not moved from its position and neither has my torso. I had just dropped to my knees in utter dismay. I fear that this is unreality at it’s finest but I know that I am not dreaming. I have always been able to discern between the dream world and my own. The refinement of this “made-up” reality is that there is enough unreality to make me tilt in the direction of belief that all of this is fake until the great hammer drops. And then you know, then you know that you’re not in Kansas anymore and you’re still wondering why you chased that white rabbit in the first place. Then you realize that everything else was the dream and this is the reality. The angel said that as well. I am in darkness even though I perceive myself in light. I know nothing anymore. Ignorance doesn’t feel like bliss anymore. I realize this now.
My face slowly starts to change as these thoughts climax in my head. The edges of my lips droop downwards. My nostrils flare. My eyes close in on themselves as tears begin to form within them. I’m weeping now. Crying completely bitterly and desperately. I want to hear my own sobs but I hear nothing. The absence of my own voice makes me sadder and I cry more fiercely, more desperately. I look into the darkness and then I scream out, “Nothing makes any sense. Why am I here? Why is this happening? Why me? Why? Why? Why?” I pause and my quivering lips gently form the words, “I want to die.”
Still looking out into the darkness between sobs and because of a complete loss of hearing, I don’t hear someone come behind me or in this case, a robed something. He stands at 8 feet tall and walks like a man. As his shadow falls over me, I turn around to see a hooded head (but no face) blocking the light from above. My sobbing has stopped and my jaw drops in a binding fear of this towering, robed fiend that sneakily approached me.
Due to the light being behind him, I only manage to notice that he is wearing a robe made from some coarse fabric like jute. He stands above me as I half-sit, half-splay on the floor, one hand propping my body up. I hear, what can only be, his voice but his voice is not heard in my ears and decoded then comprehended by me as a normal person would hear something. No, he is speaking into my head.
“If you wish for death then…” I notice him raising his hands, he wields an enormous scythe and raises the same above his head.
“…you must seek it on our own.” He brings the scythe down on me, he lands the reverse end of the blade on my lower back akin to a golfers swing. The force and impact is strong enough to send me out of my little circle of light and flying through the air into the seeming void.
When I come to a halt in a heap on the floor, I’m gripped by the adrenaline and the fear and the shock of what just happened. Curiously enough, I feel no pain where the scythed being had struck nor do I feel any hurt from my landing either. This does not occur to me immediately and then I am suddenly aware that I am in the darkness with whatever was lurking nearby before and making those sounds.
Breath! I feel a breath coming from my right. Something standing or crouching over me just breathed on me. I instinctively roll to my left and get up to see what is this thing. Maybe my eyes have not adjusted or maybe it is just too dark but I cannot see anything in front of me.
There isn’t a sound, no voice speaking into my head. I am all the more aware of how useful my hearing would have been in a situation like this. Without warning (not that I could hear one anyway), I feel a pain sweep across from the back of my right shoulder that extends to the base of my ribs.
It was a cut. A cut made by a blade or a similarly shaped object. I turn around after I scream out in anguish. I try to look for my attacker but he is nowhere to be seen. I scan the area a little more to the best of my ability. My little ray of light is visible to me now and it is not too far away. The robed giant had knocked me about 50 steps away from what I considered safety. I may have gone deaf in that little circle of light but at least I was experiencing an absence of the intense pain I felt now.
I keep my eyes on the light then dive forward into a full body roll hoping that this will confuse my attacker. I get up from the roll in one fluid motion and as my feet touch the ground, I begin running.
I must have got at least 10 good steps in and had reached full momentum when I feel the blade pierce my side right under the rib cage upto my navel. It feels like a rapier, double edged, slender meant for piercing and its blade wasn’t too wide. It goes in and comes out quickly, even though I reached full momentum, it was like I was standing still as I got stabbed.
I stumble; I almost fall from the swiftness of the manoeuvre. I grip my side and try to put pressure on it but the pain is too intense. Nevertheless, I start limping my way to the light, I’m still confident that I’m going to make it. Then another cut is made on me. Off the shoulder, on the side of the bicep, my left bicep, which is connected to my left elbow which is connected to my left palm which is putting pressure on the stab wound I have on my right side.
I use my right hand to grip this new wound but I try to not drop my already significantly dropped pace even as I do this. All thoughts remain on reaching the light, it is all I can think about and I focus on it to avoid thinking about the pain. Subconsciously, I know that if I do think about the pain, I won’t stop and then I’ll really feel it.
During my limp, I feel the blade like object rest for a second on my clavicle. It holds itself there like an insect would cling to your skin. It rests there for only that singular second and even as I think about stopping my movement suddenly in the hope that the shift in speed will cause it leave in a way that a car driver slams the brakes sending the other passengers forward with inertia but before my thought can turn to action it then angles itself into my skin (while I move) and pulls itself upwards while maintaining the new angle. The result is a bloody gash near my neck. I scream out in pain, I hear nothing. I take solace in the fact that the light is coming closer to me with each hobbled step.
Two slashes, these are extremely deep, are felt in my calves. My legs give way before my mind even registers the pain. They say pain travels at a speed of two feet per second but even if I was a 2 million feet tall giant, I would still be in excruciating agony eventually as I did now. The cut was straight to the bone. Tendons and muscles were severed through like a chainsaw through wet paper. My legs have turned useless. The light is only ten feet away. I release my hands from gripping my wounds and reach for the ground in front of me.
It is all smooth rock that my hands touch. There are no ridges or cracks to grip into. I flatten my palms on the ground and use the pressure to pull myself forwards. There isn’t much friction and I manage to get two lengths in front. On the third length, I place both my hands forward as I did before but then I feel the blade lands heavily on my fingers. Not the edge of the blade though, its side slammed down on my fingers like a club or a hammer. It breaks every bone there is to be broken in my fingers.
The pain is maddening. My hands cringe backwards. I’m crying profusely as I hold my broken fingers close to me. I am now completely aware of the pain all over me. I cannot adequately express my suffering but it was unlike anything I had ever felt before. I lie over there, foetal positioned, crying, scared, confused and completely certain that this whole ordeal is completely unfair. My tormentor could have easily killed me but it wants to make me suffer. It wants to give me hope and then take it away, perhaps to test my resilience or just for sick sadistic pleasure of having someone else at your absolute mercy.
I’m not sure how long I was crying inaudibly to myself but my attacker did not attack me. I am so close to making it. It is only six feet away. Just six damned feet and then it hit me. Whatever or whoever was hurting me like this was not going to let me reach my destination. No, my destiny is not to be at my destination.
I’m reminded of something I saw once when I went shopping with one of my parents. We were to have chicken and I had gone with the aforementioned parent to buy it fresh. After the price was settled, one of the men took one of the live chickens out of the cage. The chicken put up a struggle that was evident by its flapping wings. However it was subdued and had its throat cut. Consequently, it was turned upside down so that the blood drained into a drum filled with some water (to dilute the blood). It’s head was lopped off, its body was de-feathered, skinned and cut into tidy portions. Then a long deep gash was made down the center of the breast that allowed the rib cage to be torn open and all the organs to be taken out. Liver, intestine, gizzard, heart and whatever else was inside. The most intriguing thing was the heart. Here was the chicken, cut, skinned, headless and basically all over the place and yet I observed that the heart (though not connected to anything now and drained of blood) was still beating. I then realized how immense the struggle for survival was. I realized that the heart is a symbol of our passion, our will to never give in. I knew then that it is only when your passion dies that you die. A mind can accept lies and change as you do but without the passion beating in our heart, you are nothing.
Now I stared into the darkness, I paused my persistent sobbing to reflect on how fleeting life was anyway. I turned on my back and I knew what was coming. I do not know how I knew but I knew. I made peace and closed my eyes and just winced a bit as I felt the sharp, double-edged sword-like instrument drive itself into my heart and remain there. One last gasp escaped my lips and then I was gone.
I left this world as I came in. Naked, scared and confused.
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